IGBO has profoundly impacted lives, creating a sense of community and lifelong friendships. For Kelly, it provided a supportive space to reconnect and find love after significant life changes. Drew’s story highlights how IGBO helped him break isolation post-COVID, leading to nationwide travels and forming close bonds with fellow bowlers. Donnie’s journey with IGBO showcases the kindness and mentorship he received, inspiring him to give back to the community. Sharon’s experience underscores IGBO’s role in fostering inclusivity and friendships, leading to her trailblazing leadership as the first female President. Together, these stories illustrate how IGBO is more than just a bowling organization—it’s a family that supports, inspires, and enriches lives. This will be a regular column in future IGBO News, so if you’d like to share your story, please send it to VP@igbo.org and include a photo!
Drew Swint
When I joined Beantown South, my Boston IGBO league, I had no idea how much it would change my life.
Picture it: Boston, 2021.
I had just bought my first home, and my parents wasted no time clearing out everything I had left behind, including my two old high school bowling balls. I hadn’t bowled in years, but after the isolation of COVID, I was looking for a way to get out, meet new people, and connect with the queer community. A quick Google search led me to IGBO and Beantown South. The league didn’t start for a few months, but it was worth the wait. From day one, I was welcomed with kindness. Before I knew it, I had a whole new group of friends.
That first season flew by, and I was hooked. Then, thanks to my fellow bowlers, I discovered tournaments. My first was the Sweetheart Invitational in Connecticut. I had bowled competitively in high school, but tournaments were a new territory. I had no idea what to expect. My first event was Singles, against the wall! I was in awe! The competition, the camaraderie, the banquet … and somehow I even won some money! From that moment on, I couldn’t wait for the next tournament.
Over the past two years, IGBO has taken me all over the country: New York, Philly, New Jersey, Jacksonville, Houston, San Antonio, Reno, and beyond. I joined a second league, became my league’s IGBO rep, and most importantly, met some of the most incredible people, friends, mentors, and yes, even rivals (looking at you, Sarantakos!) I’ve seen this community rally together. Whether it’s supporting each other on the lanes or stopping a thief from stealing bowling gear out of cars.
And then, there’s the team names. One of my absolute favorite parts of IGBO is the creativity we bring to naming our teams. Over the past few months, we’ve had some of the most hilarious and clever names, and I’ve loved every second of it – including when I fully embraced my role as the Cowardly Lion for “Witch, Please!” at the Oz-themed Jersey Rainbow Classic. The energy, the fun, and the spirit everyone puts into this organization make every second unforgettable!
So what does IGBO mean to me? Family!
A big, dysfunctional, sometimes overly enthusiastic (and maybe slightly alcoholic) family. And I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Donnie Fratello
I have been bowling on and off since I was a kid. I joined my first IGBO league at age 25 in Queens, NY. When that league folded, I joined another league in Queens and made some new friends. In 1992, they introduced me to my first IGBO tournament, the Liberty Belle Invitational in Philadelphia. I was the fifth bowler on a 5-person team. I was quite intimidated at first, I didn’t know what to expect. My Doubles partner from another team wasn’t very friendly. He made it very clear that bowling well in Doubles wasn’t a priority for him. That comment left me stunned. Thankfully, another bowler on my pair saw me and pulled me aside. He gave me a pep talk and said to forget him and just do the best and I could do well in All Events. After that, I had a great afternoon with everyone else on my pair. That bowler who pulled me asidet was Joe Curci, an IGBO Fellowship Award winner.
A few years later, I joined Monday Night Fourplay, a larger league out on Long Island. In 1998, I bowled in my first Gotham Open. It was the friends I made on MNFP & through Gotham that became my inner circle. It was shortly after that I learned what IGBO truly was. In 2001, I began volunteering for Gotham and in 2004, I became the tournament secretary. Back then, there was no tournament software. Everything was done through Excel. Thankfully, I found a fellow bowler and friend who would spend hours on the phone teaching me how to be a better secretary. I eventually became secretary of my league as well. That bowler was Jeff Weinberg, another IGBO Fellowship Award winner.
In 2007, I started attending more tournaments including Sweetheart in Connecticut and CHIT in DC. I also attended my first IGBO Annual that year in Denver. The more tournaments I did, the more I saw the bigger picture of IGBO. I attended my first General Membership Meeting in 2010 and learned about the inner workings of IGBO and its goals. I made more new friends from all over the country. I wanted to do more, but sadly my job constraints prevented me from doing so.
That same year, I moved to New Jersey and got to reconnect with Joe and Jeff. They were both members of GSGBO, the IGBO league I joined in Jersey City. They were also officers of the league and served on the committee for Gotham. Again, I felt the desire to do more but work kept getting in the way. I went to as many tournaments as possible to see my new friends. I was secretary of Gotham for many years and even became co-director in 2010 and 2013.
I still had the desire to do more, so I continued learning about IGBO and its goals. I attended more Annuals and regional tournaments as the years passed. In 2022, the decision was made to create a brand-new tournament in New Jersey, the Jersey Rainbow Classic. I threw all my efforts into making it a huge success. I’m proud to say we sold out in both of our first two years! Then in 2023, I lost my job. With my new free time, I reached out to see how I could help with IGBO. I was asked to take over the league pins program and jumped at the opportunity. That year I also joined the Membership committee and I’m very proud of the work we do.
The friends I have made through IGBO since 1992 have become so much more than friends. They have truly become family. I attend at least 4 or 5 tournaments a year, and while I don’t usually bowl well in them, I get to reconnect with my family every time. I wouldn’t trade those friends and memories for anything, my IGBO family is very important to me! Had it not been for Joe Curci or Jeff Weinberg showing me kindness, I don’t think I would be so involved in IGBO. Their warmth and patience with me influenced me to do more within IGBO. That’s what IGBO means to me. It’s family, it’s kindness, it’s patience, and oh yeah, we get to bowl too!
Sharon Stump
Gay bowling was something new and exciting for me. My wife Kathie and I joined a gay league with 2 other friends back in the 90’s, and we had a great time. As the season ended, another bowler told us about a tournament in Denver that was coming up that we should enter. That was the beginning of my lifelong experience with IGBO.
We didn’t know much about IGBO, but the tournament director made sure that we learned in great detail. He was actually baiting us, and we got caught hook, line and sinker. The organizers in Denver were putting together a committee to bid for the IGBO Annual tournament in 2000. Most of the committee was already filled, but they had no women. They thought we would fit right in.
At that time, IGBO and its affiliated leagues and tournaments represented something many of us did not have. It was a chance to be with other gay people from the US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand in a safe environment. Back then, mainstream society didn’t welcome us. So when we went to our first IGBO Annual tournament, it was the most amazing atmosphere I had ever experienced. I became the Co-Director for our bidding city, and we met with the IGBO Board. Lots of questions and answers, but one thing I noticed was the absence of women. During the General Membership Meeting, it was even more obvious we needed to get more women involved. A couple of years later, I decided to pursue the effort to try to change the culture a bit by running for Vice President. After serving as Vice President for 3 years, I became the first female President in the history of IGBO in 2003. In addition, Stephanie Johnstone was my Vice President, marking the first time that the top 2 positions in IGBO were held by women! I feel this accomplishment helped get more women involved in IGBO. It was a wonderful 7 years with no regrets.
It didn’t take long after attending Annual and Midyear tournaments for me to realize that IGBO wasn’t about winning or losing in bowling. It was about the socializing and friendships you made. Some teams would dress up in costumes and bowl and just have fun! After the bowling, everyone went to the Hospitality suite and kept socializing until they closed. During the past 20 years or so, the culture has changed tremendously. Now there are more ways for the LGBTQ+ community to socialize. Although bowling has lost some of its luster with bowling houses closing, IGBO is still here. The competition has changed as well with more people participating that in the past would never have participated in an LGBTQ+ event. Who would have thought that joining that gay bowling league over 30 years ago would have such a profound effect on my life, bringing me lifelong friendships and the love of an organization which I’m still involved with to this day!
Kelly Clark
In 2003, I found myself back in Michigan, fresh from a divorce after a decade-long marriage, and newly out as a lesbian. Amidst the tumultuous changes, I was in dire need of a community, a place where I could connect and make friends. Little did I know, my decision to join the Metro Detroit Friday Night Mixed League would become a cornerstone of my life.
From the start, it was never about being the best bowler. I’ve never been one to boast a high average. Instead, IGBO became a space for camaraderie, where friendships blossomed into lifelong bonds. The Friday night league was a sanctuary where laughter and encouragement echoed through the alley, week after week.
A pivotal moment came in 2010 when I met my wife. She was at the bowling alley to catch up with friends, and fate had our paths cross. Fast forward to today, and we still bowl together in the same league, 15 years later. The alley, once just a place to bowl, became the backdrop for our love story.
While initially hesitant about participating in tournaments, a little nudge from friends led me to compete in the Motown Invitational Classic. The experience was exhilarating, and soon enough, I found myself joining the committee. My involvement grew, and I became the tournament secretary and later co-director. By 2009, I had the honor of co-directing the IGBO Annual Tournament hosted in Detroit.
My interactions with the IGBO board deepened my commitment and passion for this organization. In 2021, I was nominated and elected as the Secretary of IGBO, a role that has allowed me to forge even more friendships across the country.
To me, IGBO is synonymous with community. It’s a network of individuals united by our love for bowling and our commitment to supporting one another. My journey with IGBO has been one of growth, joy, and immeasurable support. I am dedicated to ensuring this incredible community thrives, and I look forward to many more years of fostering connections and championing the spirit of IGBO.
